Chapter 66 41: Broken Home

She looked up at him and shook her head, more tears rolling down her cheeks. "I understand what you might ve already started feeling about this child, but whatever it is, I won t bring this child into this world like I've told you before. This child is mine as much as it s yours and I can assure you I love it more than you can ever love it but it ll be so unfair for him to be brought to this world through me, Mujaheed. I can t do that, I'll have to abort this baby no matter what!" "Stop the nonsense already, Fareeda! What do you mean? That I can stay and watch you kill an innocent child? And that child happens to be mine? What the hell is wrong with you? Have you lost it?!" He thundered so loudly that the four walls of the room echoed and Fareeda s body shuddered but she knew she wouldn t have to act frightened just know, she would have to stay firm for what she believed in. "Completely!" She yelled at him, standing up as well. "I've completely lost it, Mujaheed! I don't care what you re going to say or do, but whatever it is, I'll have this child flushed out because I can t bring him or her into this world where he or she will certainly be ridiculed for his mother s past, and that can also come from his father! Do you even understand what I mean? What do you think this child will feel the day you decide to call me a prostitute in his presence? What, Mujaheed?!" He roughly held her shoulders and furiously looked into her eyes, "What are you trying to imply?! Fareeda how many times do I have to apologize to you? Just how many times?!" He was bringing everything out today just like she was. He knew he had hurt her at some point but certainly, she hurt him too. She roughly shrugged off his hands from her shoulders and rolled her eyes furiously at him. She stomped to the bedside, took the flower vase and came to where he stood, watching her with eyes turned to blood by anger. She angrily threw the vase on the floor and it broke, shattering into pieces that she had to step back to protect herself. "Here, it s broken right?" She said through gritted teeth and looked up at him with tears rolling down unchecked on her face, "Apologize to it, Mujaheed and have it back to how it used to be! That will never happen, then that's exactly what your words did to my heart, and like I've said numerously before, your apology means nothing to me, I don t even believe your sincerity!" Even though he was angry, he would understand what she must ve been feeling. Her insecurity about bringing a child into the home where there wasn t trust in it. "Fareeda, I understand what you re feeling. And even though you still don t believe me, I won't hesitate to keep on apologizing to you until the day you see my sincerity and forgive me. But about this child," he pointed at her stomach and shook his head, "There s no way we re loosing this baby unless it s preordained by Allah, you can t kill my baby, Fareeda." "Your baby?" She chuckled humorlessly and threw her head back cockily. "Did you just say your baby? You might've not known this, but I'm afraid for the something will happen and you ll deny the paternity of this child, Mujaheed! You ve said it yourself, you don t trust me and you can t trust me anymore! A single misunderstanding, and this child might have the chance of being called a bastard!" She forcefully cleared her tears and looked dryly into his eyes, "Do you know what? I love my child enough not to bring him into a broken home, a house where trust doesn't live, I m a product of such house, and it will only be a matter of destiny that will bring this child to life. I, Fareeda Kamal Sardauna, will abort this child because I believe this will be the best thing I'll ever do to my child as a mother." He took a few steps back and stared at how adamant and determined she looked. "Waoh, so that s the kind of person you take me for? That s the kind of person you take me for, Fareeda?! You think so low of me to the point that you believe that someday I'd deny the paternity of my child? What have gone into your head, Fareeda?! How could you think terrible of me, do I look like this horrible person to you?!" "Yes!" Her rough voice echoed through the walls of the room. "Yes! You re this kind of person, Mujaheed. And even though I don t wish that upon myself, I'm certain that a day will day that I will remember you of this. Remember what you told me that evening? That you regret ever coming close to me had it been you knew I was together with that man? You wouldn t have even touched my hand. And sadly, that evening happened to be the evening I conceived this baby, so I won't let the grief and agony of the day I conceived this child before onto his or her life. I'm aborting it, and my decision is final, Mujaheed." She slumped back on the bed and sadly cried, she had never been this scarred with so much until today. She didn t know whether it was the effect of the pregnancy hormones or the real emotions that had engulfed her whole. "You aren't aborting my child, and I'd love to see you try harming this child in any way possible, Fareeda Kamal Sardauna!" That voice again, that carried the air of command, of power and something so mysterious that she couldn t point a finger at it. It was a voice that when he spoke with it, it sounded as though an order from a king to his servant knowing that certainly, that order must be fulfilled even if it s going to cost the life of that servant himself. She looked up at him with so much disgust and anger and pain and hatred. "Leave me alone, Mujaheed..." He tried to cut her off when she screamed at the pitch of her voice with her hands covering her eyes. "Just leave me alone, Mujaheed!" He stared at her longer for a minute and sighed, "Suit yourself." He said before he got out of the room and banged the door behind him. Fareeda wailed and broke into tears, she placed her hands on her lower abdomen and cried even more bitterly. She loved the child, deep within her heart. But she knew it would be better for this child to be aborted when it s still possible, if not, nothing could be good for this child but pain, raw and undiluted pain. She had it in mind that whatever Mujaheed was going to do, she would have to abort this child because it would be the best for him or her. ? It had been over a week since it was revealed that Fareeda was pregnant and since they had that terrible fight with Mujaheed. None of them spoke to each other, they even do all they could to ignore their entire presence. She didn't eat together with them anymore because she knew even if she told those two people about her decision, none of them would support her. Like it happened everyday, Nana and Nenne came and beg her to come out and eat but she politely declined and curled herself up on the bed. She was depressed, nothing appealed to her but the knowing that somehow, there was a child growing in her. It was the most soothing feeling she had ever had in her life. Sometimes she smiled if she thought that there would be a day that she would have to give birth to this child, see the child smile and laugh at her. But when she remembered that she had to do all it took her to abort this child, nothing was beautiful anymore, and she would have to cry for the rest of the day. There was a soft knock on the door but she didn t look up. Mujaheed turned the doorknob and entered, knowing so well that she will certainly fight him up but there was no way he could let her live on like this, live on on just soft drinks and the occasional gruel Ladi made for her. She hadn t eaten proper food for the past one week and he knew if not for the child, it was harmful for her health. He sat down beside her on the bed and thinking that it was Nana, she didn't even look up from her pillow when she spoke. "I told you to leave me alone, Nana. I don't want anyone around me. And if this persist, I'll be forced to go back to Taraba alone, and I mean it." "Sit upright." Her heart had to lose a bit because it had been a week since when she last heard his voice. She clenched her eyes shut because she wasn't ready to do what he said or listened to him anymore unless he was going to tell her that he had finally agreed about aborting this baby. "Leave me alone, you have no right to tell me what to do and what not. I don't want anyone around me, just me." She said with a stubborn tone and Mujaheed knew even though he was still angry at her for all that she did, he realized he still love her, maybe even more than he used to love her a week ago. And he had to make her eat for herself, if not for his child that grew in her womb. "I won t leave you alone, Fareeda. It s either you sit up right now and take some food or I ll make you regret being stubborn this afternoon." He said with a tone of finality and she cursed herself for not being able to rebel against his words. She grunted angrily and sat upright, fixing her glass but she didn t look at his face. "Keep it on the bed whatever you have. I ll eat it only when I feel like eating something. You can t force me to do something I don t want to." "You can t always be this stubborn, Fareeda. Now, listen to me, go and brush your teeth. You re going to eat this..." He immediately shook his head, "I m going to feed you myself. Stand up." She furiously turned to look at him with her hands wrapped around her chest. "And who do you think you are to be ordering me around?" "Your husband." His answer was short and straight, and he smiled softly when he added, "And the father of your child. Now, hurry and do what I've said or else I'll take you to the bathroom myself."