Chapter 65 40: B

"Fareeda..." His voice quivered as he spoke, not being able to comprehend what was happening right before his eyes. He couldn t believe it was Fareeda that was doing and saying these things to him. He knew that she initially hated him, so much, but he thought all that had changed since they got married, but he guessed he was wrong. His hatred was still alive in his heart. "Unless you want yourself to be hurt, just peacefully get back to your own side of the bed and sleep peacefully, without your hand even touching a hair on my body. But if you re hell bent on making each of us regret, then move an inch close to me, and I wouldn't care what will happen to you, Mujaheed. Because you see, this prostitute, this filthy body, can do more damages than your brain can ever come to comprehend. Respect yourself!" Her voice was rough, tough and darkened with painful emotions. And when he looked into her raining eyes, he realized that she meant each and every word she had uttered, and Mujaheed didn't know what else to do with himself. How was it so hard for him to tell her that he loved her? But he was sure even if he told her he loved her now, she would only say he was lying and might want something from her. She wouldn t believe him. She would have to make sure that his love sounded so lame and fake that he would begin to doubt it himself. But if anything, Mujaheed knew his heart more than anyone else in this world, and deep down he knew he loved Fareeda and no one else. ? Things kept on going this way between the two of them. And when Fareeda realized that they might have to keep on fighting with Nenne over this issue which she didn't want to happen, she began to act as if everything was fine between them whenever they weren t alone. And if it was left just the two of them, it didn't matter how much he was going to beg her, she would have to act nonchalant and if he dared come closer to her, he knew what might happen. She woke up feeling dizzy and nauseous today, and when Ladi came to serve them breakfast, Fareeda complained that she hated the aroma of what was cooked. She immediately went to their room and threw up, wondering what was wrong with her or if she was going to become sick again. And when she came back to the table, Nenne was flashing her a suspicious look. "Nenne, why are you giving me that?" She asked, while stirring the millet gruel she had asked Ladi to make for her, suddenly realizing that she had lost her appetite. "Tell me, how are you feeling?" Nenne asked, ignoring the displeased look Fareeda was flashing her. All Nana and Mujaheed did was stared at the two women because they knew Nenne would never ask her this question without having something in mind. "I feel nauseous. Last week I had to discard my favorite perfume because it makes me want to throw up. I feel weak, that s why I haven't been able to go for the relatives visitations. I sleep a lot, because that s what I'm going to do after taking this gruel, you all must ve noticed, didn t you?" She looked around the table and they were all giving the look that she knew was a mixture of hope and happiness. "What? Are you a doctor, Nenne?" "I'm not a doctor, but you have to see one, Fareeda. Wait, when was the last time you saw your period?" Fareeda pouted her lips, "Nenne why ask me that in the presence of everyone?" "Who s the everyone?" Nenne asked as she looked around the table. "It s me, your grandmother, then Nana, then your husband. Who is a stranger between us?" "Still Nenne." "Will you answer me or should I ask your husband for an answer?" Mujaheed wished he would magically disappear from this table. What was this old woman up to? "Come on! Why will you do that? I think it has been two months now since the last time. Why? That s normal, isn t it?" She didn't know why she could sense that Nenne would make a big deal out of this. So she nonchalantly lifted the cup to her lips and took a few sips, feeling as the lemon taste calmed her down. "You must be pregnant, Fareeda..." Nenne wasn t done with what she was saying when Fareeda coughed out the contents in her mouth. Mujaheed immediately handed her some water and she didn't care who gave it to her, she gulped it down in a go. "What are you trying to say, Nenne? How can I be pregnant..." She palmed her face, not knowing what she was going to say. "How can you not be pregnant when you have a husband, Fareeda? You re pregnant, wait, let me check." She came to where she sat and took her palms in hers, she dilated her lower eyelid and checked before her face grew into a wide grin, "Alhamdulillah. Lets go to the hospital so they can determine the truth of my words and how many month the pregnancy is." Fareeda immediately stood up and stomped her feet on the floor, "Nenne! I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to any hospital because I'm not sick." "What are you trying to say, Fareeda? There s no way you can stay here without knowing the stand of your baby and knowing how healthy he or she is. We re going to the hospital." "I'm not going to any hospital, Nenne. And I'm not pregnant, stop saying I am!" "Fareeda!" She heard Mujaheed s authoritative voice for the first time in a very long time and when she looked at him, she knew not to argue with whatever he was going to say. He turned to Nana briskly, "Nana, go and get her veil for her. We re going to the hospital like Nenne said." He was back to the man that she once knew him to be. A man that spoke with authority, an air of command and power that always sent a chill down her spine. Nana brought the veil and he took her wrist himself and guided her to the car with the rest of the following them. Fareeda wanted to argue and tell him that she wasn t going anywhere but she didn't have to be told twice that he wasn't going to hear anything from her once he had that expression on his face. As they sat down and waited for the result in the doctor s office, she knew she was the only one that prayed for the result to turn out negative. The doctor came back into the office and immediately shook hands with Mujaheed after he had sat down. "Congratulations, sir. Your wife is five weeks pregnant." Five weeks, that rang in her brain. She could remember five weeks ago was the last day she was intimate with Mujaheed, the same evening she nearly lost her life. She thought that was the most saddest evening of her life, but it turned out Allah planned a new thing for her. She wasn t ready for this next step and there was no way she was accepting it. ... She ran into the room when they got back to the house and immediately, Mujaheed rushed after her. He found her profusely crying on the edge of the bed as she palmed her face. He slowly closed the door behind him and leaned on it, wrapped his hands around his chest as he watched her cry. She kept crying with so much timbre that her whole body shook. He wondered why she was crying, what was it that hurt her to the point that she would have to cry as badly as she did now. He noticed that it was getting too much, the tears were intensifying to the point that she might hurt herself if she kept crying and he walked over to the bed and sat beside her. He lifted her wet face and she looked up at him. "Do you hate me this much, Fareeda?" He asked, because he couldn't understand what was the reason for her tears if not for the unquenchable hatred she had for him. She cleared her tears but more gushed down to her cheeks. "What do you mean?" She asked, angry at himself but more at her that she was even listening to him despite all that had happened and what was about to happen because she knew Mujaheed would rather die than agree with her on this. He nodded his head, and there was something about his eyes that she couldn't decipher. It looked as if he felt deeply hurt seeing her cry like this. "You hate me so much that you wouldn t like to have a baby with me, right?" He repeated his question in a way he knew that was what was in her heart. And as much as it pained him to believe this, he knew it was the truth. Fareeda hated him so much that she would cry when she knew she was going to have a child with him. She shook her head then stopped, not knowing how to approach him with this. "I don t hate you, I've never said I hate you since I got married to you." She lifted her face up to stop her tears as she cleared her tears but more gushed down her cheeks. "But this child, I can t give birth to this child, Mujaheed. I want to abort the baby, please." Her lips trembled with so much pain as she spoke, and in what felt like the blink of an eye, Mujaheed s expression had changed from hurt and soft to furious. "What do you mean?" He backed away from her for a few seconds and she nodded her head at him. "I mean it, I can t give birth to this child, Mujaheed. I can't have a child yet, please. I also can t abort the child without your permission, please let me do that, please Mujaheed." She was crying so hard as she lifted both her hands in a begging manner and Mujaheed stood up while he shook his head. "I still don t understand you, Fareeda. What are you trying to say, that both the parents of this child will team up and have him or her killed? Are you in your right senses? Listen..." He began, wanting to cool himself down so as not to say something he will certainly regret later. "Do you mean that you hate me, so you can t have a child with me? Is that what you mean?" He was shaking his head because he couldn t believe what he had just heard, what Fareeda was trying to imply.