Chapter 289

They say femmes change when motherhood hits, and maybe that’s true. Perhaps she didn’t need to carry on to birth for the changes to take effect. Because she became a mother the second that life existed. Maybe I’m softer, more compassionate, and stronger in my need to care for my people of late. Perhaps that’s because I, too, have been touched by the maternal bond. I can’t imagine what Carmen feels or what the lack of that life has done to her since. The hollowness of its absence. Especially knowing she had to save herself and sacrifice her child in the process, all at Juan’s hands. It seems we all have reasons to hate that man’s existence. “Good, good, you’re up.” We all jump about a mile high when the voice invades from the far right, startling us into standing and poised aggression because none of us even sensed her. It’s weird, but even with our sense of smell, hearing, instincts, and awareness, none of us picked her up last night or this morning. She’s like a freaking ghost. Just