Chapter 46 It's Too Late

They looked so like a match made in heaven. When she was complaining about how helpless she was to Curtis, it looked like she believed she could rely on him for everything. And the man—everything about him gave off hints that he was someone from the top of society, and yet he seemed to soften to a great degree when he was with Sabrina, as if he was subconsciously lowering himself to be on equal footing as she was. They were really good with each other, Finnick could tell. It did not look like a typical "saw him on Tinder and got a shotgun marriage" situation at all. 'It's too late for me.' The thought echoed in Finnick's mind. 'It's too late.' If only he had managed to muster enough courage back in college! If only he had been braver! He could have been the one with Sabrina right now. He took a deep breath and approached the couple. Curtis had been listening to Sabrina intently without interrupting her at any point. When he saw Finnick, though, he suddenly grabbed hold of Sabrina's hand warily. Sabrina's instinct was to swing his grip off when Finnick spoke, "Hi, I, uh, am Finnick Odeon. Sabrina's friend in college." Curtis smiled curtly and nodded. "Hello." That was it. No name, no introduction. A subtle haughtiness—Finnick was irritated by it, but seeing no similar response from Sabrina, he forced himself to swallow his feelings. Marcus's head popped out from the ward. He waved effusively. "Bro! I thought you said you weren't coming! Come here. I got something to talk to you about!" Marcus' antics had shocked Sabrina enough that she was reluctant to go near him. Instead, she shot a look at Curtis. Curtis considered Finnick and her expressions and realized that they were both on different wavelengths. Sabrina didn't seem interested in Finnick—the feelings were not mutual. It was a relieving thought. He patted Sabrina's head. "I'll go and see what he needs." Sabrina had not expected something so intimate and affectionate from him at all. She froze, not knowing how to react. Finnick watched and felt the lump in his throat growing even larger. He looked at her, almost pleading, and asked, "Can we step out for a talk, Sabrina? Please?" While she wanted to decline him at first, she realized she could not say a word the moment their eyes met. She left with him. They arrived at a garden the hospital kept. While they walked side-by-side, they kept each other at arm's length. No one spoke. The air gelled in awkwardness. Finnick kept giving himself mental pep talks. Sabrina, though, panicked about what to do. If Finnick suddenly confessed his feelings… "I remember the first time I met you in college. You had this white canvas backpack. Your brother was helping you with a suitcase and your grandpa was standing right next to you," Finnick began. College had just begun back then. Finnick was two years senior to Sabrina, who had only just joined the campus. She fell silent. Who would remember that sort of thing this well—unless that person had a reason for it? Nevertheless, she kept quiet. Finnick just wanted to process his feelings. "You were bantering with your brother. I could tell you two were close, and I just… kept watching. I remember what was running through my head. 'She's so cute. She's so interesting. I want to be her friend.' And I acted on it. I did my best to have you join our photographers' club." They were good friends even among the members. People noticed and sometimes, they ship-teased them. The two had always kept a certain distance between themselves, though. They seemingly ignored everything the others said. Finnick, at the time, thought the time was not right for them to date—he thought Sabrina wanted to focus on her studies more than romance, so he gave her space. Besides, she had a lot of choices beyond Finnick himself. Finnick thought he had all the time in the world. He thought he should approach her as a friend and build it up from there. Little did he know how deluded he was about his own time. He should have seized the chance when he had it, and now the door had closed forever. If he could redo those years again, Finnick would have stepped out of the friend zone. "Yea. We're pretty inseparable, but he can be such a jerk sometimes. Which is you're like a second brother to me—kind and gentle and always helping me out," Sabrina replied. Both parties knew what was being implied here. Finnick smiled in pain. The only relationship role he had left was to be her "brother" again. In other words, her friend. "Well, I don't have a sister myself, so you played that role for me. I didn't expect my 'sister' to be so mischievous and memorable, to be honest," he said, masking his agony with playful jocularity. "Either way, even though we got separated after graduation, I never stopped thinking about you. Though I must admit, it's kind of shocking to find out my little sister is already married, and I'm not!" Sabrina breathed a sigh of relief to herself. The man had done her a great favor by sticking himself firmly within the friend zone. For some reason, she also felt a little saddened. She noticed how he felt belatedly. If she had known sooner… Would she have a different life? Would they have become more than friends? But there was no "if." In the only universe that mattered—this one—they were friends and could never be anything more.