34: The Secret Admirer

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 3   Y E A R S   L A T E R NEW YORK CITY * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * [ K A R A ] Three years ago I got my heart broken for the first time. It was the worst and best experience of my life. To say that the breakup was brutal would be the understatement of the century. I still remembered the last words he spoke to me, "If you're lucky, you're only gonna see me in Thanksgiving, weddings, or funerals," That messed me up for a while. I imagined coming home for Thanksgiving five years from now and I would see Ryder again for the first time. Maybe he would bring a girl with him. And then maybe he'd get married. And I would be there, to watch him stand on the altar and give his life away to someone else. These thoughts were worse than my worst nightmares. I believed that a person was only allowed a certain amount of happiness in their life. And I believed that I had used up my entire happiness quota that summer with Ryder. So for a long time, I