#Chapter 105 So Close

Ember I don't tell him—not yet. But I double the guard on the nursery with my own hand-picked people, and I move Clara's crib into my room at night, and I stop sleeping almost entirely, my sword within arm's reach and every creak of the old castle jolting me awake. Every logical part of me knows Nara is right. Kaine could protect Clara from the Queen in a way I can't—he has an army, a father's ear, the weight of the crown behind every word he speaks. Telling him is the smart move, the tactical move, the move I'd order any of my guards to make without a second's hesitation. And still I don't do it, and I lie awake picking at the reason like a scab, until I finally admit the ugly shape of what's underneath. It isn't only Clara I'm protecting by keeping quiet—it's me, because the moment I tell him, I've handed a third mate the truth of what I am, and I've spent my whole life learning that the truth of me is a thing men reject. Two of them already have, and I am a coward about exactly