Chapter 93 58: B

And as Baffah said, that was what had happened. She wondered why any of them hadn't objected to what he had said, was it because the truth had always been clearer than the lie? And the truth always triumphed no matter who opposed it. They told them that the result would be sent to the palace tomorrow, it was night, but still Fareeda was clinging onto Muhaseen as though her life depended on her. She hadn't eaten, all she did was cried and prayed. Nafisa walked into the room with a tray in her hand and she sat on the edge of the bed beside Fareeda. "Your highness," she called her softly and Fareeda lifted her crying eyes and placed them her. She continued. "I know I'm in no position to tell you this, but I've never seen you in this position since you came to this palace. This isn't like you, and I believe no one deserve to cry as much as you did from yesterday till tonight. You're a very good person, you're kind, you're lovely and beautiful. And what I mean by beautiful, not just on the physical level, you're beautiful inside and out, your highness." Fareeda felt more tears rushing down her cheeks. Here, someone she had never imagined she would meet in her life was revoking the notion she had about herself. "Maybe you're into this difficult situation because of his highness, but believe me, there's nothing communication doesn't solve. You might feel that you're the woman, why will you make the relationship work? Or why will you be the one to seek peace to reign, but that only makes you human and it shows you value that person. Go to him, communicate and only then, can you know whether to go one with the relationship or not. You will have peace in your mind, know the decision you have to take." Fareeda cleared her tears and lifted her face up to stop more from running down her cheeks, "Do you think I should go and meet him? What if he doesn't want to listen to me?" She asked with self pity dripping from her words. Nafisa placed her hand on hers softly, "If that happens, then you ask your heart what to do. But don't you ever forget, you always come first. You're the only one that matters and no one else, take care of yourself before you think of anyone because you can't pour from an empty cup, can you?" Fareeda shook her head and she had it in mind that she will go and speak with Mujaheed now. Not because she believed what he accused her of, but because she knew that it was possible to have the result forged and if that happen, she would know the right thing to do. She looked down at Muhaseen that was on her laps and she realized she had fell asleep already. "What about Muhaseen? I don't want to go there with her." She had promised herself that she would never let him touch her or see her again until the result came out and even after that, she would know whether to let him keep being her father or not. "I'll just walk with you to his chamber and rush back here to stay with her before you come back. She'd be fine for the few minutes we're away. Here, let me put her in her crib." She was about to take her from Fareeda's laps when Fareeda leaned down and planted a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I love you so much, Muhaseen. I'll make sure you get a good life, okay?" She smiled sadly and Nafisa took her to the crib. They walked out together because Fareeda told her that she couldn't' eat anything tonight. They stood in front of the chamber and Fareeda kept urging Nafisa to go back and look after Muhaseen and she was left alone. Trying to walk inside, the guards stopped her with their heads hung down. "We're sorry, Your Highness. But His Majesty has forbidden us from allowing you into his chamber, and we won't go against his words until he's the one that ask us to let you in." Yes, maybe what had happened yesterday wasn't a dream after. She tried so hard to mask up her pained expression and didn't even beg them because the months she had stayed here were enough for her to know that they wouldn't go against his wife. With her tears trying to suffocate her, she walked back to her chamber and even before she reached there, she was aware of light. No, she would rephrase her words, fire. She didn't know when she broke into a run and when she reached her chamber, it was in fire. "Muhaseen!!!!" She screamed at the pitch of her voice and ran toward the door to enter but before she did, Nafisa held her firmly. She was crying bitterly while trying all she could to stop Fareeda from entering the chamber. "Your highness please, it's too dangerous for you to enter there." Fareeda kept struggling to get out of her hold. "What are you telling me?! Have you gone mad, Nafisa?! Muhaseen is inside, what do you mean!!!!" She had lost her sanity, she wanted to get away from her hold and go inside to save her baby, but it felt as if Nafisa was more strong that she had imagined she was. She couldn't think straight, she wanted this nightmare to be over so she could wake up. "I'm sorry, Your highness, I won't let you inside. The guards are inside already to bring-" before she was done with her sentence, one guard came out holding Muhaseen in his hands and Fareeda shrugged out of Nafisa's hold. She rushed to him and collected Muhaseen with tears rolling down unchecked from her eyes and she didn't know what she was feeling in her heart. Everything was blank without any single emotion but fear. "Muhaseen," she called out with a silent voice that got muffled with her tears. "My baby?!" She shook her but there was no sign of life in her, she had no burn on her, but when Fareeda placed her hand on her chest, her heart wasn't beating. Nafisa's mother rushed to where they were and took Muhaseen from Fareeda's hand that was stupefied and frozen on her spot. She checked her all over and when she looked up at Fareeda, she sadly shook her head. "I'm sorry, your highness. But her highness is dead, probably suffocated by the smoke of the fire. I'm so sorry." ... She had never thought the word 'I'm sorry' could hurt as much as it did today. She thought I'm sorry was meant to heal things, to mend, to apprehend, but today, it did the opposite to her. Today, it broke her to the point that she knew she would never be held or mended. She was just staring at them as they put off the fire while she clung onto Muhaseen and no matter what someone would say to her, she couldn't look up nor even acknowledge that he or she was there. She was just staring at the half burnt chamber and felt as her heart died slowly. So this is how it felt to have your heart dying while it still beat? This is how it felt to be broken beyond repair and you know you have no other choice but to stay still, just where you are and watch as reality unveil right before your eyes? This was the amount of pain one encountered upon loosing a part of himself? She thought she knew pain when Mama died, she had seen all shades of it and with the kind of life she lived, the things that had been happening to her, Fareeda had foolishly thought that nothing could break her to this point because she was already broken within. But holding the cold body of Muhaseen this night, knowing so well that this innocent heart will never beat again. This beautiful soul will never grow, it would be buried and the body will decay, she realized that there had always been a part of her that hadn't been broken until the reality of Muhaseen's death struck into her heart with so much intensity that she knew she would never be able to recover form the shock, the pain and the memories of this day . "Your highness..." Nafisa spoke with tears on her cheeks as she tried to collect Muhaseen's body from her but Fareeda immediately backed away. "Don't! Don't come near my daughter! Get away from me!!" She screamed at the pitch of her voice, holding Muhaseen to her chest even more firmly and the scream brought the people's attention back to them and she didn't care. She pulled her phone away from Nafisa's hand and realized for the first time that she had no one to call at this time but Alhaji. She had no one to cry to but him, it didn't matter whatever he did to her, she needed him now. Her whole body shook as she hit her speed dial, it had always been in moments like this that she thought of him and his phone will ring with her name on the screen. Her picked at the second ring and hearing his voice saying, "Assalamu Alaikum, Fareeda, how are you?" She broke into tears. She cried terribly with her tears poured directly from the pitch of her heart. "Baba..." She drawled painfully, the second time she had ever referred to him as Baba. She wished he was there with her, because she hadn't and will never forget the hug he gave her the day Mama died, she still felt his warmth whenever she needed him and her stubbornness wouldn't let her go to him. And today, she knew she needed him, wanting him by her side so he can give her the biggest hug of her life, maybe then she would be able to heal. "Innalilahi, Fareeda, what happened? Are you alright?" He asked as he felt his heart pounding because he could imagine what would happen for Fareeda to call him, break into tears and refer to him as Baba in a crying voice. "Muhaseen, Baba. She's dead, she's dead. They said my baby is dead. Please come and take me away from here, please come and take me home. Baba..." Her words were choked up with her tears as they came out in hiccups, she held Muhaseen, feeling with each breath she took Muhaseen's body became even colder and also, she weighed more in her hands. "Innalillahi wa'inna ilaihir raji'un. Fareeda what are you saying? Where are you? Who are you together with? Ya Allah." He couldn't wrap his head around what was happening right now, he couldn't believe his ears. He prayed this would just be a misunderstanding or like her case, a medical problem that would be solved. "Fire...she got suffocated by fire, Baba. Will you please just come and take me away from here? Please, Baba." She was crying so hard, her whole body shook and her heart broke with each breath she took. She wanted nothing but to be in Baba's arms and have him tell her that she would be fine, it will be alright. He can even lie to her and say that Muhaseen will be alright, she isn't dead yet. "Hold on, I'll call Mujaheed now, okay? Fareeda, you need to keep on reciting Innalillahi, Allah will come to your aid, I'll be there as soon as I can get the flight. Don't cry, okay?" His voice broke, and she was nodding her head as she heard him ended the call. Where would she go? How was she going to feel relief? She lifted up Muhaseen's face and couldn't believe she was dead. Her baby, her beloved, her biggest blessing was no more and now she was left all alone in this cruel world. He softly tapped her cheeks, "Muhaseen, you need to wake up, okay? Maama promised not to give you out to anyone to hold for her, I'll be taking care of you myself until the day I die. Please Muhaseen don't leave Maama all alone, please come back to me. Maybe you aren't died yet, right? I haven't even given you the anklet I bought for us, did I? Muhaseen..."