Chapter 89 56: Taking In A Bride
It hurt, so much that she wouldn't dare lie to herself that it didn't. She wanted to spew out all that Kulthum had forced into her throat this morning and also, she wanted to cry until her eyes stopped responding to her glass and she would stay blind forever. Tears pooled the brink of her eyes and she heard as the doorknob got turned and he walked into the room with the grace and sophistication of the king he had always been born to be.
Looking up at how dressed he looked, Fareeda felt something struck her heart and she knew she couldn't keep up with this pretense anymore. Damn it, this hurt like hell. She had never imagined that something will hurt her as much as this did. She wanted to scream at all his uncles for making him take this decision, tell them how bad they were, how irresponsible they must've been to do this to her and himself. She wanted to have a one on one conversation with him Mairamou and asked why she allowed her parents to get her married to a man they all weren't sure of his comeback. She wanted to know if a lady could wait this long for a husband she knew for a fact didn't even know about her existence as a wife.
Mujaheed stared at the way she had looked crest fallen, seated on the edge of the bed with tears streaming down her cheeks. He moved to the bed and sat down beside her before he took her hands in his. "Fareeda..." He began softly and she had her hand on her glass, trying to take it off when he held her wrist. "Please don't do this, will you please listen to me and understand me?" She turned her innocent eyes at him and realized for the first time in her life, that Mujaheed was so husband she felt her guts churning upon the thoughts of sharing him with another woman today.
She immediately cleared her tears and plastered a smile on her face, "I've never said I didn't understand you, Mujaheed. I've always understood. You aren't doing this because you want to, right? You're doing this because that's what has to be done, and I fully understand you. Look, even if you're doing this because you want to and because you love her, I don't have anything to say, it's allowed in islam for you to have four wives, so go on."
Mujaheed stared at her as she tried all she could not to let her tears get the best of her, she kept flicking them back as she spoke with a croaked voice he so well realized. She was deeply hurt, he could see that from those eyes that had always held nothing but innocence, purity and love. She might deny it all she wanted, but she had love filled to the brim in her heart. That was why she was able to exude love wherever she lived and no matter how much you wanted to hate her, you couldn't. There would always be strings attaching you to her.
"Stop punishing yourself, okay? Don't stop your tears from coming out, let them. Cry, in front of me. I'll hold you and stay here until you pour everything out of your chest, okay?" That felt like an opener and Fareeda didn't know when she began to cry, her shoulders immediately shook with her tears and she broke into tears. Tears of self pity, of foreseeing self destruction and heart breaking.
He pulled her to him and she rested her head on his chest and cried until she felt her lungs threatening to suffocate her. She wished she could take the hands of time back and didn't have to be this desperate for him to be hers alone. She knew the kind of man Mujaheed was, how compassion he was. How when he looked at you with such softness in his eyes you'd never want to know pain again, they were balm to the hearts. How when he spoke with that soft tune, she felt everything vanishing, the pain she felt at the time, the helplessness, the fear, nothing remained but him, her solid rock of support and love. A touch from him felt all masculine with a slight touch of femininity that Fareeda knew she'd be damned if another woman knew what it felt like to be his wife.
She lifted her head from his chest and right there, he was looking at her with those eyes, Fareeda realized she had been lying to herself about something. She had been lying to herself that she didn't love Mujaheed, his love for her alone would suffice them for the rest of their lives. But today that she knew so well he wasn't hers alone, she could feel his love rustling the places she had never imagined in her heart. She loved him, the kind of love she had never been able to give out to someone.
"I love you, Mujaheed." Her lips trembled as she spoke and she could see, he was taken aback by her words, shocked even. Because he knew so well that she had always been in love with him all this while, just that she hadn't realized it yet or thought it was safer if she didn't act up to the love emotions constantly ebbing in her heart. "It's too late to say it now, right?" She asked pitifully, seeing that he hadn't even taken his eyes off her.
He immediately shook his head and took her hand in his. "That's not it, Fareeda. I have only wished that the day you'd confess that you love me will be an exceptional day. Not when you're a broken mess with tears all over, but the day you're laughing so hard and your heart is whole with love and happiness."
"But I know a day will come that I can tell you I love with laughter on my lips and happiness in my heart, don't you think?" She began to clear her tears and he used his thumb to clear out the remaining tears from her cheeks and cupped her face.
"You'd be happy, Fareeda, we both will be. I don't know when all this will end, but I can assure you it will end, Fareeda. You'd smile, fall in love with me all over and be glad you got married to the gateman." Despite her tears that were racing down her cheeks, she chuckled softly and shook her head.
"But you aren't a gateman, and even then, how you carry yourself, the way your voice sound so confident and always had a touch of finality was enough evidence that whoever you are, you're used to given out order as though you're a king. And it's so shocking to say that you're the king of Yaounde, I just can't believe it. I've always been right about you."
He chuckled softly and kissed her forehead before he fixed his eyes softly into hers. "You've always been right about me because you've always been in love with me, just being too childish to realize it until now."
She rolled her eyes playfully at him with lips curved into a perfect pout and innocence dripping from her eyes. "What do you mean? Mujaheed I forbade you long ago to stop referring to me as a child. And no, I've not always been in love with you, I told you, I used to hate you so much. And just because I said I love you today shouldn't make you feel so proud of yourself." She wanted to have moments of their banters and silly fights stocked somewhere special in her heart knowing that even though he had always been married to Mairamou, today will be the day it will be officially finalized.
"Then let your soul grow if you don't want me to be referring to you as a child. Okay, I can admit that feels so soothing to hear, will you mind to say it again, your highness?" She rolled her eyes at him and unexpectedly punched him so hard on his stomach that Mujaheed had to yelp and held his stomach, looking at her with both laughter and pain in his eyes. What in the world was wrong with Fareeda?
"I've been wanting to punch you this hard since, I think you finally got it when you're a king and taking a second wife." She laughed mischievously at him and Mujaheed shook his head before he laughed along with her. He helped her got into the attire Nafisa brought to her and they walked together hand in hand into the palace, where the event was taking place. Fareeda was aware of people's eyes that were on their entwined hands and she wondered since when it became a taboo for a husband to hold the hands of his wife just because he's getting a second wife.
*
She could say it was both fire and ice, because since when he Mujaheed had Mairamou conveyed to a chamber near hers and she became and had been addressed as his wife since then, he hadn't been nothing short of loving, supportive and amazing. The only painful moments she had were the times when she slept alone at night and she knew he was there with Mairamou. She didn't ask him because she knew it wasn't her place but her heart ached with the thought of Mujaheed being intimate with another woman apart from her.
Pain visited her always, but whenever she was together with Muhaseen or him, it left as though she had never seen it before. She got tired of staying alone in her chamber and she asked Nafisa to walk with her to Kulthum's chamber, because Muhaseen had been taken by Hamid since morning and she knew unless Kulthum had noticed, her poor baby must've been hungry now. She met them in the living room and he swung the cradle someone had put her in while she slept.
He rushed to Fareeda and hugged her. "Good afternoon, Yapendo Fareeda. Muhaseen has fallen asleep and Ummi helped me get her into this cradle. Are you here to take her with you?" She brushed her hand into his hair and nearly chuckled when she asked herself how could one's hair be this silky and soft. But then she remembered, having a Cameroonian as a mother and a father from Niger, he had all rights to look the way he did.
"No Hamid. I'm not here to take her but don't forget to bring her when she wakes up, I'll feed her and give her back to you, okay?" He nodded his head excitedly and Fareeda smiled. "Where is your Ummi?"
"She's in her room. She has stopped crying her now but I wonder why she said we aren't going to Niger this time because Abba wished we could go with him." He had a pout on his lips.
"That's because we all lost Daada and we should mourn for him, okay? You should pray for him whenever you pray, Hamid." They spoke for sometime and she walked to Kulthum's room.
She rocked softly on the door and she heard as Kulthum ushered her in. She walked in and saw her staring at their old family pictures with tears in her eyes and Fareeda immediately rushed to the bed. "I told you to stop doing this to yourself, Kulthum. You're reawakening your memories with him and I can tell you it's the hardest to move on when things are going that way. You should have peace with his death, know that he's dead but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to live on in your heart, okay?"
She nodded her head and cleared her tears away. "It's just that I missed them so much, Fareeda. I have no one to talk to about them and Hamma Mujaheed is always so busy with the palace affairs."
Fareeda cupped her face with a loving and encouraging smile. "He's never so busy for his little sister, okay? He'll come and check up on you, don't feel sad. And whenever you want to talk about them, come to me or call me and I'll come. Don't ever feel like you're alone in this, we're all together with you."