Chapter 40 25: B

"You re safe now, Ya Fareeda. I'll protect you with the only weapon I have, which is Ya Mujaheed." Fareeda hugged her warmly as tears washed down her face, "Thank you so much, Nana. I love you, my darling." If not for Nana, Fareeda wondered how she would ve been saved from Asma u because all she thought of was for the worse to happen, and even now as she was saved momentarily, she was sure the worse will certainly happen. "Don t let all that she said bother you, Ya Fareeda. I'll leave you to sleep now, you should eat before doing that." Fareeda watched as she left the room and closed the door behind her. Her knees voluntarily went south and she broke into tears. She felt the tightening in her chest and cried bitterly. All that she was afraid of was for what Asma u had said to come to reality. If she got married to Mujaheed, she didn t know what would be of her. ? Despite her attempt to sleep, Fareeda s effort proved futile and she sat down on the prayer mat after she had prayed, exhausted from crying. She didn t know how much hours had passed until she heard the soft knock on her door and Nana muttered softly, "Ya Fareeda, are you in there? Asleep?" She weakly got to her feet and walked to the door before she unlocked it, "No, Nana. What s wrong? I don t have the appetite to eat anything, don't bring the lunch for me." Nana shook her head, "I didn t bring lunch, it has been past five in the evening, I know you don t have the appetite to eat. But Abba summons you in his living room, Ummah is there together with Ya Mujaheed." She felt as her heart lost a beat and she fixed her glass from falling. "I haven t prayed Asr yet, I didn t know it was time already. Tell them I'll be coming down in a bit." She prayed and it was only the will of Allah that took her to Alhaji s living room after she was done. She walked into the room with her eyes fixed on her toes that still had the henna Mujaheed helped applied for her while she fidgeted with her fingers. She found a spot at the far end of the living room and sat on the lush carpet, for the first time in her life, sitting on the carpet in Alhaji s living room whenever he summoned her, and it didn t matter the intensity of her fault. And this time, she was certain it was because of Mujaheed, and she didn't know why. It took Alhaji a few minutes to recover from the shock, because he thought she would come into the living room with her chin held high and she wouldn t show any remorse of her actions. But from her face, he knew she was regretting what she had done, or so he thought. "Fareeda," he called her name and she looked up at him. But despite the pain that was rupturing each and every organ of her body, Fareeda had her hatred painted loudly on her eyes for him, he could see that the moment he looked into her eyes and he concluded that maybe she was sad over something else. "Where have you been all this while?" He asked, and she turned her eyes back to her fingers. She had never been silent whenever Alhaji asked her something. There were times she wanted to hide the truth from him but because she was sure the truth will hurt him more than the lie would, she would have to tell him the truth. And today wasn t an exception too. She avoided looking at the direction Mujaheed was seated at because she knew if she made that mistake, she wouldn't be able to voice a word out. "I was at Katsina, together with Adam." She had to clutch at her fingers when Ummah gasped as if she didn t know about it already, she didn t have to look at Mujaheed to know the expression he had on his face. "Do you know what being married means? The intensity of the sin you ve committed with him, Fareeda?" Alhaji was usually calm today and Fareeda wondered what kind of game he was playing with her. Maybe Asma u had told him that nothing would hurt her as much as having her separated with Mujaheed would. She had seen the irony of life now, because there was once a time when all she wanted was to be separated from Mujaheed and today, she wanted nothing but to keep on staying as his wife even though she was certain that she wouldn t ever see him smile again. Again, for the first time in her life, she wanted to defend herself when Alhaji accused her of committing something she knew she hadn t committed. Because it had always been fun hurting him with his own imaginations. But today, she shook her head, "I didn't do anything with him. I admit to running away with him to Katsina and he booked a hotel room for me. But nothing happened between us, because I'm aware of my marriage with Mujaheed, I can t commit a sin that requires the punishment of being stoned to death. All we wanted to do is call you after we ve settled and it took a while and I'll ask you to make him divorce me, so I can get married to the one I love..." She had to choke on her throat when she came to that part, it still hurt. By Allah no one had ever hurt her like Adam did, no betrayal had hurt like his did. Alhaji shrugged off his shoulder and turned his eyes to Mujaheed that had a closed off look on his face, you can be a painter of emotions but you can never depict what he was feeling at the moment. "I'm sure you ve omitted a few things from what you ve seen in Katsina, but I won t probe you to tell me if you don t want to. And like I promised to you, I won t force you to stay with her unworthy self, her ungrateful self, if you don t want her as a wife anymore, divorce her, I'd gladly appreciate it." Ummah quickly chirped in, "Yes, Alhaji, then we can get him married to Asma u. At least she is a good girl unlike her sister, because it will be so unfortunate to lose someone like Mujaheed as a grand son." Alhaji s face immediately lit up to a smile at the mention of Asma u s name, Fareeda had noticed that but she refused to cry because of that. She forcefully flicked back her tears as Alhaji uttered, "Yes, she s such a lovely and respectful girl. She doesn t cause any trouble here, you d be happy to have her as a wife, unlike this wayward girl." That struck, and no matter how Fareeda wanted to keep calm and hold a stoic expression on her face, there were things that her frail heart couldn t overcome that easily. "I m not trying to intrude on your personal matters, but knowing Fareeda I know nothing has happened between the two of you so it s still permissible for you to marry her sister instead. Asma u is the best person for you. Will you like to get married to her instead?" Both Ummah and Alhaji fixed their eyes on him waiting for a reply from him. Reluctantly, Fareeda lifted her raining eyes and it was the same time when he had looked up at her, their eyes met and she quickly took her gaze off just when her pregnant eyes poured down their bundle of grief and agony. She dreaded the answer that will come out of his lips even though she knew deep down what it would be. And when he uttered, "Yes, I'd love to..." She could feel it, her world crumbling as though a paper being crumbled by mankind. ... She heard nothing after that, because what else mattered? Everyone proved to her that she was indeed worthless and undeserving of love. The only person left on earth that cared about her was Nana and Fareeda knew it would only be a matter of time before she hated her too. She could hear the erratic beating of her heart in her ears as it thumped and squeezed with too much agony. She wondered how different emotions that were so strong will envelope one s heart and all one could feel would be agony. Too much grief and sadness. She was clearing her tears while more gushed down on her cheeks as she heard his voice again. It was still a miracle to her how she heard him amidst the chaos in her heart, "I d love to, but Alhaji, I want to stay with Fareeda as my wife." Her head instantly shot up but he wasn t looking her way. From the way she viewed it, if not mistaken by her second and helpful eyes that were blurry with her tears, he avoided her direction at all cost because he obviously felt disgusted by her presence. Alhaji smiled and nodded his head, "Are you sure about this, Mujaheed? Please you shouldn t say that because I'm here and you ll find it hard to divorce her. I've understood, and believe when I say I'd have divorced her if she was my wife. Are you sure about this?" Fareeda immediately shot up a hateful glare at Alhaji but he acted as if he hadn t noticed. It was only the two of them that knew the meaning of her look, and today none of them had the energy to address it or ponder over it. Alhaji was certain that had it been something hadn t knocked her down, she would have made him regret what he had just said, but she was so concerned about something else even though he was sure a day would come when she would have to retaliate for what he said. She was his daughter, but the only things he knew about her were how unforgiving she was about him. How she made sure she hurt him with her words even before her actions spoke. How she hated him with every fibre in her being. Mujaheed shook his head and he stole a glance toward Fareeda that did nothing but cleared her tears away but more kept gushing down. He turned his attention back to Alhaji and ducked his head down respectfully, "No, I don t say it because I m in your presence, Alhaji. I mean what I've said, I want to keep on staying with her as a wife, if that will be okay with you." 'And she ll be my wife in Jannah, Insha Allah. Fareeda could clearly remember what Nana told her he had told her. She wondered if he meant what he had said or the sole reason he wanted to keep on staying with her as a wife was because he wanted to torture her life enough for what she had done to him. But she wondered what man would reject a scrumptious offer like the one being presented at him. An offer of being married to Asma u Kamal Sardauna, that was one in a billion.