Chapter 30 19: B

He fondled her hair softly to calm her down and spoke softly, "It s okay with the tears, Fareeda. Now, go and take your bathe, I'll make you something to eat before then." She nodded her head and stayed still as he cleared her tears before she walked to the bathroom. As soon as she closed the door behind her, Fareeda broke into tears. This was the very first time someone had ever heard her No when she said it and it stayed as a no. She came out of the room after she was done getting ready and when she didn t see him in the living room, she knew he was in the kitchen. She met him setting the table for four dining table he had in the kitchen when she walked in and she meticulously moved there and sat. With her eyes still bloodshot from her tears, she fixed her gaze on the plate until she was done eating and when she looked up at him, he had his eyes on her. "Are you still afraid, Fareeda?" He softly asked, and she shook her head. "No, I know you won t do it. I just want to sleep." Her voice croaked and she took her eyes off him. Mujaheed moved to the chair beside her and he held her hands, "Tell me, Fareeda, has anyone ever done this to you? Has anyone ever raped you?" He couldn t help but ask, because the way she acted looked as though she had been frightened about this all the time. She immediately shook her head, "No, who would? No one has ever done it to me. And for Adam..." She let her words trailed off because she realized she didn t know what to say to him that would sound right and justify her acts. "You don t have to justify yourself about what he said, I understand, Fareeda. That s all your past. You might not agree with me as your husband yet, but you are and will forever be my wife in my heart. And I'll never use your past against you because it has happened already and we have no control over it. The only control we have is that how we re going to let it affect our future, okay?" She didn t know she was crying while he spoke until she felt his hands on her cheeks as he cleared her tears away. "I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to do that, Mujaheed." For the first time in her life, Fareeda apologized to someone and that someone had to be a gateman. She had never thought that one day someone would speak to her in a respectful manner like he did today. All what the people in her life did was use her past against her, tormented her with memories she wanted to forget herself, humiliate her. And now that someone didn't find that anything, she wanted to cry so much until she felt calm within. "It s okay, you don t have to cry, okay?" He pulled her to his chest and hugged her while she rested her face on his cheeks and he smiled softly. Not knowing how or when he found the courage to smile during moments like this. He would have to say that he was proud of how today ended, because despite the fight, they weren t going to sleep angry at each other. They walked back to the room and he was in the bathroom when she went to the living room and packed all the throw pillows like she did yesterday. He came out and found her meticulously arranging them on the bed and he groaned, which forced her to look up at him. "Any problem?" She asked, and Mujaheed immediately nodded his head. "You have more space on your side than mine, have you always been this selfish, Fareeda?" Somehow, she didn t know whether it was her ears that heard wrong, but he whined. She stifled back a smile and shook her head at him, the honey color of her orbs glistening with much sweetness and innocence. "I think it s equal space. But if you want to, you can take my side and I'll sleep on yours." He moved to where she stood, analyzing the bed with her eyes to make sure what he said wasn t true. "You can t see clearly, that s why you won t see that the space is more spacious than mine. Look, even your pillow, you took the softest one among them." She couldn t help but chuckle and turn to look at him. "Mujaheed! You re just being whiny here, aren t you? But to my eyes, everything is equal, I promise." He shook his head, relieved that he had finally made her chuckle before the day ended, that was a good sign. "How about this? You lay down on your side and I'll make the boundary with the pillows starting exactly from where you occupied?" "Ahh!" She whined, "That will be so selfish of you, it won t be enough for me. I'm not a calm sleeper, you can find me on your side if that happens. Let s leave it this way, will you?" "But I want you on my side, can you just sleep there with me? Even by accident? I'll assume you were asleep when you fell over." Before she spoke, Mujaheed began to tickle her and Fareeda laughed at the pitch of her voice. "Oh my god! Stop it, Mujaheed!" It wasn t until he saw that she had exhausted her breath did he stop and after that, he hugged her from behind and placed his head on her shoulder. "You should always laugh like this, Fareeda." He rocked them together while he wrapped his hands on her waist and she was about to speak when he landed a soft smooch on her neck, and she surged in air sharply and lightly hit his hands. He smiled and tightened his hold on her, he was afraid, but he knew it wouldn't be long for him. ... Mujaheed opened his eyes after the adhzan had been proclaimed and to his surprise, he found Fareeda laid beside him as she rested her head on his chest with her hands wrapped around his waist. He smiled and stared at how calm her face looked like, thanks to the light illuminating through the curtains. She looked fresh as though she had just gotten out of shower. He decided that today, he would let her see it for her eyes. "Fareeda," he called out and she softly groaned and slept back. He slowly tapped his shoulder, "Fareeda, you need to wake up and pray, okay?" He called out, and she groaned again. "Wake me up when you re back from the mosque, please?" She mumbled sleepily and Mujaheed couldn't help but smile lazily. She lazily adjusted her head on his chest and that made his heart fluttered. "Fareeda, you re on my chest." He pointed out, and he heard the scoff she made, it was clear that she hadn't believed him. "This is my pillow, can you just leave already?" She mumbled and hugged him tighter, Mujaheed smiled. He didn't know he would love to wake up like this everyday, with her clinging onto him while she made a pillow out of his chest. "It s not your pillow, Fareeda, it s my chest. And if not you re on me, how could you hold something so tight? Do you have a teddy bear with you?" She slightly opened her eyes and to her surprise, she was indeed on his chest. She immediately sat upright while he chuckled and sat beside her. "Good morning, Fareeda." He said softly and she looked at him with a pout on her lips. "Why can I can come to your side? Did you shift the barrier? I told you I'm not a calm sleeper, Mujaheed." She said with a whiny tone. "You haven t greeted me yet, won t you?" He asked and she softly rolled her eyes at him and smiled. No, that wasn t a smile. It was a heart stirrer, Mujaheed thought. "Did you just smile? It looks cool on you." He pulled her to his side and she weakly shrilled. "Mujaheed! Let go of me, I just come to think of it, I've never seen you immediately when you woke up but today, and I don t know how that made me smile." She informed as she struggled to get out of his hold but instead, he held her firmly and lifted her face up to meet his eyes. "What? Did you like how I look when I wake up? Should I make sure you're the first person to see me after I wake up?" He asked with an amused smile and she shook her head with her lips curved into a pout. "That s not how I mean, and you know it. Do you want to be late for Salah? You should leave already, Mujaheed." She felt how ticklish his hands felt on her body and she immediately smiled at him while she moved slightly. "I know, and I'll be off now. But before that, I want us to perform a sunnah of the prophet." He mentioned. Seeing them almost cuddled to each other in the early hours of the day with relaxed smiles on their faces, Mujaheed almost mistook them to be in love. He knew she was just playing along with him because she had just woken up and didn t have enough energy in her. She reluctantly nodded her head at him, wondering which among the sunnah of the prophets he meant. "Which among them? Being married is enough sunnah, right?" He shook his head at her and brought her more closer to his body, Fareeda felt her heart beating erratically beneath her ribcage, she didn't like where this was going. "After that, he used to kiss his wives before he left for the mosque and..." The way her eyes dilated in shock was what made him chuckled. "Calm down, I'm not asking you to kiss me. I can remember you said you hate it when I kissed you on your forehead, so can I at least do that?" She ducked her head on his chest and nodded her head before she lifted her body away from his. "You should go, Mujaheed, they ll start the prayer any minute from now." He nodded his head and got off from the bed. With her feet on the floor as she sat on the bed, Fareeda wondered what was this. How could they be this warm after just waking up, she didn't like the way it was making her feel. When he came out, Fareeda followed his gaze while he stood by the door and reckoned for her to come over. "What? Should I give something to you?" She asked, and he nodded his head, taking off the sheen of water from his head. She remembered, she loved his hair even though she had still not gotten the chance to touch it till now. "Yes please, my rosary, it s on your bedside drawer." He pointed at the rosary for her and she took it while she walked to where he was. He collected the rosary but instead, held her hand as well.