Chapter 20 13: B

She took off her glasses and stubbornly folded it in her hands, "I don t want to look at you. I want you to divorce me, let me go." She cried so hard, why was it so hard for him to comprehend? He didn t love her, the last time she checked she was sure she irritated him a lot. Why was he hell bent on staying with her? He chuckled softly, she was childish too. He stared at the way she had closed her eyes even after she had taken off the glasses but her tears still managed to run down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Fareeda, but that s the only thing I can t do for you." "Why?!" Her voice broke as she asked and her shoulders shuddered. Just why? "I just can t do that. And also, I won t leave you alone for now, okay? Come here." She felt as he softly pulled her toward him and placed her head on his shoulder. Fareeda felt as he wrapped his hand on her back while softly tapping her to console her hurting soul. "It must ve hurt a lot to see your family treating you this way, Fareeda, but that doesn t make you any less worthy, okay?" She new she wanted to remove her body from his and shout at him for touching her, but she didn t have the strength to do any of the things her mind was telling her was right. Right now, for the first time in her life, she had gotten a shoulder to lean on as she cried. And she broke into tears, feeling the way he tightened his hold on her back while softly rocking them. "It hurts...it hurts a lot. I love them, why wouldn t they love me back? Where have I ever gone wrong in their lives? Is it because Alhaji treats me like trash that s why they do this to me too? I want someone to console me and tell me it ll be alright, that I'll eventually find happiness, why are the people I need this from treat me this way? Isn t that what families do?" She slightly lifted her face up at him even though she couldn t see the expression he had on his face. "I m sure they love you, you re just too stubborn at times, Fareeda." He said softly. He hated it whenever she made a comment that implied that she thought of herself unworthy of the things he knew deep down within his heart she was worthy of. He felt bad now seeing her cried like this, she was truly in pain and the only thing he knew could bring her happiness back was if he divorced her, but for a reason unknown to him, Mujaheed knew he couldn t divorce her. She lifted her head from his shoulder and shook her head while placing back her glass, "I m not stubborn, don t you see? They just chose to ignore all my good sides and hate me for a reason known to them. Is it because she isn't the one that gave birth to me? Is loosing a mother this much of a stress? Won't they let me lose her in peace? Cry and miss her whenever I remember her? Why would they have to make sure that I feel her absence in every moment of my life? Just why?!" Mujaheed placed his hands on both her shoulders before he stared directly into her crying eyes, "You don t deserve this, Fareeda. But what I also know is, they don t deserve this from you. You love them, and if they can t see you as the good person you are, you have to accept it that way and move on with your life. Not everyone will love us in our lives, you shouldn t be pained because the people you need love from fail to give it to you, and that isn t the end of the world." "But..." She began, her lips trembling as she spoke and more of her innocence dripped from her eyes. Mujaheed wished he could e able to d what she wanted of him, but that was something he knew he couldn t. "No buts, you have to promise me that for the rest of today you won't even think about them or how they ve been treating you. And even after that, nothing they would do should have significance to you, don t expect anything from them and I assure you the absence of it wouldn't hurt you a bit." "Can I do that?" She innocently asked, and Mujaheed nodded his head at her wile he smiled. "Yes, you can do it, Fareeda. Now, cry over them once and for all, and that will be all."she nodded her head and he pulled her back on his shoulder while she silently cried. Hoping that as he said, this would be the last time she would let whatever they did to her have much space in her heart. And she wanted to do that, if not for anything, then for the rigid shoulder she had finally got to lean on. ... She immediately stood up from the sofa she was seated on and released the curtain of the window she was holding onto. "I need to go back home, I haven t even taken my bathe." She knew he was sometimes amused when she acted some sort of way, but right now he was just staring at her. "What? Why are you giving me that look?" She asked, and he quickly shook his head, taking his eyes off of her. "Nothing, you re just so comfortable." He pointed out, and she stared at herself, she had taken off the hijab and also the wrapper, she was only in the night gown she couldn't wait to take off and also her turban that she got tired of. "That s why I need to go back inside, Mujaheed. I'm really tired of this night gown, I need to take my bathe and have some rest." She whined while flapping the loose ends of the gown and Mujaheed shook his head while he wrapped his hands around his chest. "You can t go back now, Fareeda. I don't know what they re planning, and it s only the beginning of the night, can you wait some more?" He said, and before a whining Fareeda answered him, they heard a soft knock on the door. "Who is it?" Mujaheed asked and walked toward the door, he unlocked it and Nana stared back at him with a wide grin. "Nana! I've been meaning to call you, come inside." He opened the door for her and she walked carefully holding the tray in her hands. "This is so heavy for me, Ya Mujaheed." She whined, and he laughed before he collected it from her and placed it on the centre table and she ran to where Fareeda was, embracing her. "I've missed you, Ya Fareeda. Here..." She said as she pulled out some garments, "I thought about how you haven't taken your bathe all day, your favorite night dress." Fareeda chuckled before she broke their hug and planted a kiss on Nana s forehead, "I love you, Nana. Have I ever told you that?" How could a small girl like her be this thoughtful and sweet altogether? "You ve always said that one day you ll kill me if I keep on annoying you. It feels good to know that you love me." Nana got a smack as a response and Fareeda stood up immediately. "I need to go to your room to take my bathe," she informed, staring at him. She knew he would hardly let her go but she had to try. And if not in her room, where was she going to take her bathe? "No! Please don t go, because I had to sneak into your room before I got these out, Ummah has been there since you left, she said she s going to kill you tonight since Alhaji wasn t home and you re already thinking of killing her. So she'll kill you..." Before Nana was about to finish, Fareeda had already rushed to the door. "That woman, who did she think she was? Last time she got saved, but I'll have to make sure she doesn t live to see the next day." She said through gritted teeth but before she turned the doorknob to leave, Mujaheed held her wrist and pulled her back into the house. "What do you think you re doing, Fareeda?" Her wrathful eyes glared at him and she softly hissed. "You can t stop me, and that s final. Let go of my wrist, this is my father s house, and she can t stop me from living the way I want to in my father s house." She was angry beyond words could tell, and she wanted nothing right now but for her to meet with this woman and see who amongst them could come out alive. She was tired of everything she was doing to her in this house. "You can't leave here until she s left your chamber, Fareeda. Nana will call me when its safe for you to do so. I don t want any trouble, will you for once act like the grown up woman you are?" Even though his voice carried the air of command, when she looked into his eyes, he was practically pleading her with his eyes. She stubbornly lifted up the night dress Nana brought for her, "I have to take my bath, I feel disgusted with myself right now." She said, and he shook his head before he softly pushed her to his room. "You can take your bathe in my bathroom, if you need something, Nana will bring it for you before you come out, okay? Don t be a baby and please just go, Fareeda." He pushed her into the bathroom and closed the door from outside, "Call Nana s name when you re done, she won t leave." He walked back to the living room only to find Nana smiling at the door they shortly disappeared into. "What are you smiling at?" He asked and smacked her head before sat down. "Ya Fareeda listens to no one, it s still surprising me how she listens to you without throwing any tantrums. Abba was right, he said no one could handle her but you." She giggled while tapping her hands excitedly and Mujaheed shook his head. Nana could be given the award of the most trying match maker. "How does it feel in there? Any trouble for you?" He asked like the big brother she took him for. And she smiled innocently before she shook her head. "Dahlia insulted me because I laughed when Ya Fareeda slapped her. But after that, nothing comes, I know how to carefully avoid them." She smiled and he smiled back at her. "You need to go and take some of her belongings for her, I don t know what she might need, but you should know." He said while taking a quick glance at the door of his room. "You need to be careful not to get on their bad way, Nana, okay?" She nodded her head and left the chamber.