Chapter 11

*JANELLE* I tried to explain but I didn’t know what to say. How was I supposed to explain the truth? Should I just say I sold my virginity, I was ruthlessly deflowered by a man, I barely saw his face and frankly, I didn’t want to see him ever again. And now, I’m pregnant for him and I’m thinking of keeping the baby? How was he going to look at me after that? Like a slut? “I…didn’t…I…”I couldn’t think of an excuse. Donovan stood up. He walked neither fast nor slow. Every step of him was like pushing the air close to me. He looked so furious.”Tell me what you’re playing at?! Was that why you slept in here? You were looking for a perfect opportunity to make me sleep with you and then you’ll pin that child on me!” My whole body trembled and I kept stepping back. I covered my belly with my hands for fear that he would hurt me. "I didn't mean to hide it from you. And I never wanted to pin this on you either. I barely know you, that was why I didn’t tell you about it.” Donovan said in a deterrent tone. "Am I supposed to believe that?!” I protected my lower abdomen, quietly walked back, and struggling to keep calm. “Yes. I can swear with this pregnancy that I had no intention of pinning this on you.” He glanced at my belly then at my face. “Since this would have broken our agreement, why didn’t you say it sooner? Why did you sign that marriage certificate?!” I slowly clenched my fists. This child was a surprise to me, but it was still my baby. I had just lost her sister and getting rid of this baby made me feel uneasy so I wanted to give birth to this child. In the future, I could live with my mother as before, and the three of us would live together. At the thought of that night, I couldn't help but tremble. "I…I just found out about the pregnancy.” I was yet to even tell my mother about it. That was why I took the test result along with me because I was scared my mom might find it. I didn't expect that my new husband would find it instead. I should have done a better job hiding it. He eyed me and I could tell that he didn’t trust me at all. He warned, coldly.”For this one month, behave yourself and don’t mess with me. After the month is over, you have to get the fuck out of my life. I can’t be around someone like you.” I swallowed and nodded. Even if his words hurt, I tried not to let it break my self-esteem any more than this. “I will not cross the line.”I assured. Even if he didn't trust me, I couldn't make him distrust me even further. I was already in a dilemma. If I had one more enemy, it would be too hard for me to get things back. Donovan stared at me with inquiring eyes as if he was judging whether I was telling the truth. At this time, Joan knocked on the door and let out, "Breakfast is ready." Donovan looked away and muttered. "Clean up the floor." After that, he turned around and went out. As soon as he left, my legs felt all wobbly. I held the short cabinet behind me and took a long time to recover. I squatted down and picked up the scattered clothes on the floor. When I saw the B-mode ultrasound in my hand, my tears fell down on the paper. I wiped my tears. I couldn't cry, it was a sign of weakness. I had cried too much already. I couldn't be weak. Both my mother and the baby needed me. I folded the paper and put it in the bag. Then I changed my clothes and went out. There was no one in the dining room. An empty coffee cup and an empty plate were on the table. He must have left after breakfast. I sighed with relief. It was really depressing to get along with that man. I walked to the dining table and ate. After breakfast, I went out. I told my mom that I would come to visit her often in case she was worried about me. As soon as I entered the door, my mom asked me. “I have heard so many things about Donovan O’Connell just this few days of living here. Is he being mean to you?” "Mom." I was very serious, and I didn't want to say more about it. "He's good to me. Don't worry about me." My mom sighed. She should accept that it was too late to change my mind. “I can’t help it. We’ve been through so much, Elle. I don’t want a man maltreating you.” I hugged her. I didn't mean to be harsh just now. I just felt tired after what happened this morning. “Mom, I'm just a little tired. I didn't mean to be rude.” “I know, it’s okay." My mom seemed to feel my exhaustion. "If you are tired, you can sleep here for a while." I nodded. Although I didn't want to sleep, I really felt tired. When I returned to my room, I ended up falling asleep unconsciously. ******** At noon, my mom cooked and asked me to get up for lunch. Sitting at the dining table, she gave me a bowl of rice. "I made your favorite dish.” I stared at the table, at the perfectly streamed fish, just the way I liked it. All of a sudden, the smell suddenly irritated me. My body jolted and it felt like I was about to throw up. “Elle.”My mom called, noticing the expression on my face. I had no time to explain, I covered my mouth and went into the bathroom, bending down in front of the sink, I threw up. My mom came over and as I met her eyes, I could see realization dawning on her. She had gone through this and of course, she was suspicious. She seemed to be in disbelief as well. I couldn’t blame her. I had always been conservative and honest. So how can I be pregnant?