Chapter 5

"I'm going upstairs," Sebastian added, getting to his feet. Martha watched Sebastian's retreating figure and pressed a hand to her chest. Nicholas sighed. "He's just like you. He's almost 30 now. Other men his age are already married with children, and yet all he ever thinks about is the hospital." "So what if he's like me? Sleep in the study tonight. I'm going upstairs too." She shot him a glare. Just as she reached the stairs, Sebastian appeared again. He was already changed into his work clothes and heading back down. "Mom, the hospital just called me in for an emergency surgery. I need to go." He was already gone by the time Martha could react. In the dining room, Nicholas slammed the table. "Just look at your son. All he thinks about is the hospital. He's only been home for an hour, but he's already gone without a word. What kind of lady would be willing to marry him?" "What are you yelling at me for?" Martha dug at her ear in annoyance. "It doesn't concern you if you say he's my son. Sebastian is just being a responsible doctor." … When Sebastian returned from the hospital, it was already 11:30 pm. A cream-colored Golden Retriever trotted over lazily and rubbed against him. He reached down to pat the dog on the head. Pouring himself a glass of water, he headed into the study. That morning, he had left without closing the windows. The wind had scattered books and papers across the desk. He bent down and picked them up one by one. They were mostly medical records he had been reviewing recently. There were so many potential causes for massive abdominal swelling. Reading the case files made his eyes ache with exhaustion. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, but it didn't help. Glancing at his phone, he saw an unread message from Luke that had been sent earlier that morning. "I asked Taylor. She was in the neighboring class and used to be the closest to Jane. Even she says she hasn't been able to contact Jane." Sebastian stared at that line of text. Not even her best friend could contact her? He opened their old Telegram group chat. Out of 48 members, most had their names as nicknames, but six or seven accounts didn't. He hadn't used this app in years. Jane had long since blocked him on other social media. Now, staring at those six or seven anonymous IDs, he added each of them. Within minutes, three replied. After some polite small talk, he realized none of them were Jane. … By the next day, the other three accounts had also replied, but not a single one was hers. Finally, there was one anonymous account left. The account wasn't private, but it also had no useful information. The avatar was an outdated, tacky-looking cartoon girl, and yet Sebastian was certain it was Jane. … That night at dinner, he glanced at his phone again. There was still no response. He tried adding her again, but three verification questions popped up. "Why are you adding me? Who are you? Who am I?" His replies were short and to the point. "I'm Sebastian Grant." "Jane Carlson." A colleague nearby commented, "Dr. Grant, you've been so distracted by your phone today. Are you waiting for your girlfriend to text you?" Plenty of female doctors at the hospital admired him. This instantly drew a few curious gazes that were hungry for gossip. After all, Sebastian had famously rejected the dean's daughter when he first joined. That news had spread like wildfire through the hospital. One after another, nurses and doctors had tried to approach him with confessions or breakfast deliveries. However, he had the same behavior—cold and reserved, rejecting every advance with detached politeness. He didn't bother answering his colleague's teasing remark, and the doctor awkwardly chuckled before letting the matter drop. … A week later, Valeria opened her Telegram on a whim and nearly dropped her phone in shock when she saw Sebastian's request. Staring at the request, she forced herself to act as though nothing had happened. However, that same week, Sebastian kept opening the app during his break time. Every day, he would click into her profile, staring at it. His request remained unanswered. It was as if she hadn't logged in for years. He refused to believe that she really was dead. … After spending another afternoon in the clinic, Sebastian pulled out his phone and created a brand-new Telegram account. Maybe Jane was still alive and just didn't want to add him. It was just like when they broke up and she mailed back every single item he'd ever given her, cutting ties completely. He answered those same questions again. "Why are you adding me? Who are you? What do you want?" This time, he replied, "I am Salem Jones and I need to talk to you." Salem Jones had been a basketball star and one of the most popular boys in school back then. Sebastian remembered once seeing Jane and Taylor deliver a love letter to Salem. That afternoon, Jane's cheeks had been flushed red. She was so fair-skinned, and the rosy glow on her was impossible to miss. On the stairs, she had skipped alongside Taylor as though something wonderful had happened. Was delivering a love letter worth that much joy? Sebastian admitted that pretending to be Salem to add her was underhanded, even shameless, but he had acted purely on impulse. If she accepted, then didn't that mean she was still alive? There was a thorn in his chest that he couldn't get rid of, no matter how he tried. It was something that had been festering inside him for seven years, twisting into something strange and complicated. He had just returned to the country this year. In the seven years since, he had dreamed of Jane a few times. In the first semester of his senior year, he had asked her out to a hotel before leaving to study abroad. At first, he was only with her because of a fluke. However, she slowly became something of an addiction to him. Even Sebastian recognized that he had certain peculiarities in this aspect. He liked seeing her cry. It provoked something in him that made him feel alive. Jane had been chubby, but he was a tall, athletic man. He had no trouble carrying her at all. Before leaving, he had given her a bank card with 200 thousand dollars in it. She had accepted the money, which deeply pleased him, because she usually resisted his gifts. In their three years together, Sebastian had bought Jane many things, and she had always refused. Only when he threatened to toss them in the trash did she reluctantly take them. That night, her skin flushed as she lay in his arms. He had told her to use the money to buy herself something nice. She had agreed softly and obediently. It was barely a month after he went abroad that Martha called. She informed Sebastian that there was a courier in his name, only for him to have it set aside. He fell sick from the change in climate overseas and spent two feverish weeks in bed. He hadn't contacted Jane, but he never expected that she would not reach out to him at all. In their three years together, they might have been in a relationship, but Jane was so submissive that she rarely contacted him herself. However, when he finally messaged her, his texts bounced back. She had blocked him. Sebastian, who had always lived a perfect life, was stunned. He was the golden child, the pride of his family. He could have any girlfriend he wanted. So, why should Jane be different? It wasn't as though he wasn't coming back. He was only studying abroad, yet she had cut him off coldly. He found it laughable and infuriating. … When he returned home for the New Year, a large package was waiting for him in his study, with the sender being "Carlson". Sebastian's heart thumped hard in his chest as he opened it. Inside were all the things he had given her during their three years together, containing every gift and the amount of each monetary transfer. Jane had consolidated all his transfers into a single bank card and sent it back. Each item had a sticky note attached with the date, the place, and what he had given her. Even the meals and drinks they had shared were recorded down to the exact cost. Every hotel stay and every night together was itemized and documented as well. The most expensive gifts—four purses, a bracelet, a necklace, and a watch that were worth a small fortune—were left pristine and unused. Even the cheapest things, such as daily necessities or meals, were carefully accounted for. Sebastian felt his head throb as he stared at all the items. He sent the box tumbling with a furious kick, and all the contents scattered. Two boxes of unused condoms spilled across the floor. They landed at his feet, as if they were mocking him for being a fool. She had severed all ties between them without any hesitation, leaving nothing of association with him.