Chapter 42

"daddy look at what I caught." My father lowers his reading glasses and folds the newspaper to give me his undivided attention. "what do you have, princess?" "guess," "you know my wits can t match yours." "you are right." I agree with a grin. I open my palms and the butterflies fly away. "Cara, Cara….." I turn to find my officemate staring down at me. "The supervisor is asking for the report." She says "oh!" I look at the blank spreadsheet. "give me a few minutes." "Today she s in one of those moods." She gestures. I nod to end the discussion. Never have I ever excelled in gossip. The next thirty minutes I spent typing, once done I email the report to the supervisor and print a hardcopy to deliver to her. Too much work duplication! The last two days I have spent avoiding Quinn and in turn he has made it obvious he is avoiding me too. During the morning meeting he didn t spare me a single glance something he does too often. It has never bothered me before but it did this time. Why? Maybe because he was the one doing it not me. I hate it. i stare at my office computer where the cursor blinks waiting for my next action. The words I need you, stare back at me. I am conflicted, I throw caution out in the wind and enter to send the message. I don t know Quinn s personal number or email. The only way I could reach him was through the company s director email address. The tables have turn and I am the one seeking him out. After some minutes my phone vibrates and it is unknown number, meet me at the underground parking area. The message is curt. It is an hour to the end of my working hours. I pack my stuff without a care to go meet Quinn. He is easy to spot as I step out of the elevator. He looks so out of place with his designer suit that is more expensive than the chipped truck he is in. he looks up to meet my stare, now that I am here all I feel is like I did a mistake and I should just turn around and deal with my problems like all adults do, drink. "where do you want to go?" he notices my confusion "I don t know." I reply. "get in!" he orders. He keeps staring at me and doesn t attempt to hide the huge grin on his face like he just hit a jackpot. "why are you smiling?" I ask. "never would have thought this day would come, prideful Cara needing thy humble self." "don t flatter yourself, you were the last option." "your only option. "he starts the engine The is old and rusty, it draws more attention as it runs. "do you want to talk about it?" "I don t know." "That is still an acceptable answer." As he starts to drive further away from the city, I start to feel relaxed. "How did you manage to get this successful?" "I toiled." I wave at the cameras. "Cara…." I turn to Quinn watching me with dire concern. I look ahead and discover he is driving towards an isolated resort on a rapidly degrading gravel road. I don t think most people know of its existence. It is situated miles away from the main road. I should come out. I should have revenged when the wounds were still fresh I feel a warm touch on my temple. I turn to find Quinn staring at me. "come," it is a plea. The entrance has a small patio that allows one to look out to a vast land of nothingness. As we keep on walking I feel the horrible sadness that it offers and despair that is left of it. I guess finally I have found my soulmate. We get to a reception desk which doesn t look like one, it smells like spoiled milk, it is small and full of random things. Quinn starts to enquire about the rooms, my eyes keep roaming around the small room with spider webs at the corners, vinyl peeling off the counters and mildew lining the baseboard. It is terrible. The woman starts to leads us towards the rooms. You can notice chipped floors, doors that lack hinges and knobs, windows with broken glasses. I hiver and move closer to Quinn. "is this some cult offices?" I speak as soon the lady leaves. "trust me." He says. I sit on the bed, it is rickety. The blankets look itchy. Everything makes my skin crawl. He starts to undress. Okay? He lifts his head to find me staring. "Remove your clothes he orders." "I am not having sex with you." I say. "I can live with that." He throws a matching pair of sweats at me. I find myself staring at his naked body. "have a change of mind?" he smirks. I am startled and I look away embarrassed. I start to undress and Quinn walks out. Wow! Once done I find him outside with two bag packs. He had me one. I am more confused why we are here. "lets go." He instructs as I follow his lead. I soon realize there is a huge forest behind the resort. "I can t go hiking." I say, after all it is dusk. "this is what you need." He says. "how do you know what I need." I ask. He ignores me and continues to walk deep into the forest. I jump up when a money swings in front of me to the next tree. Quinn laughs at me and I stick my tongue out. "this forest hosts some of rarest butterflies and birds in the world." He says. I attempt to touch a butterfly resting on a nearby leave. It flies away. "have you ever been here?" I ask. " my grandfather hated the modern medicine. He would bring along to find a certain plant he would use. He lived for over a hundred years. He died strong." I move closer to Quinn when I hear the rustling of the leaves. "it is just the wind, the animals are just harmless as you are towards them." He says and stops. He starts to lay some trap. "ever tried game meat?" he asks. I shake my head. I still don t get ho this has to do with me needing him, however my thoughts are getting lighter. "why are we here. I said I needed you." He turns to me with an intense look, "the most basic instinct of animals in face of threat is flight or fight. That email alone was enough to me, I can see your deep desire to survive and what better place to learn that before you make a decision on impulse?" "I am not afraid." I shout. Another rustling of the wind and jump forward to him. My chest feel congested, I can t breath, someone is trying to choke me, no…no…no.. they will not win. "Ryan s father must have revealed something to you, I saw you together." My legs feel heavy, I want ot run…I can"t why? Set me free…leave me …I don t want to die. "you are afraid that everything has changed or everything is about to end and it was all in vain." Quinn keeps on talking. "Dad look what I made" "it is beautiful just like you." "Cara..." Quinn taps me. "You are trying to shut down the pain, embrace it." he says. "Wayne is your father." "Dad, mum and I are making scones." "oh wow, can you share the secret ingredient?" "it is called a secret ingredient for a reason, duh!" "Cara…" Quinn pulls me into an embrace; I can t breathe…I can feel the emptiness that radiates off my body. "breath it in, allow yourself to feel that pain, swim so that when you come out of it there will be no longer any pain left." I feel my body freeze, I cannot feel the inside of my body, just my skin. I release a long howling scream just to see if I am still alive. How could they betray me in this manner? How could my mother do this to me? To my father? The saddest thing about betrayal it is that it never comes from our enemies. The feeling is frightening, painful but also awful in the awe-sense. I push Quinn away, "you knew all along?" "I had my suspicion with Wayne, when you go through countless betrayals your awareness of any threat is higher than that of an average human. Listen…" silence falls. "don t move." He says and I do exactly the opposite. I move. "see. I investigated the family and I did not find any connection with your family I still could feel something was off. I dug and dug until I found an interested article from the 80 s. the relationship between your mother and Mr. Wayne. Again it was a dead end because they broke up way before you were born but it was something to look into. I continue to dig. Mr. Wayne married and they had Andre. Until I came across something interesting. When Mr. Copper was starting out working for my father, Mr. Wayne did lend your mother money and it was rumored that he was having an affair but the woman remained a mystery. I had to find a way to get Andre s DNA and yours tested and they came out positive. He is your brother and I suspect he knows…." I zone out as Quinn continues to talk about Andre and his family. The more he talks the more I feel like I am stuck in an inescapable dark pit and I realize how life is now different from what I thought it was. And for the first time I don t know what to do. The words in italics are Cara's unconscious thoughts or fantasies to block out any pain, remembering a trauma. Some are meaningful, some meaningless and some may have happened and others haven't. they are just random and crowd her mind whenever she attempts to think of the pain. she can't help it