Chapter 39

It is a somber affair. My earliest recollection of a funeral is that of my father's and the last one I attended was my own. I take Andre's hand immediately he opens the door for me. I lift my head to face the church before us. Few people are awkwardly standing outside. There is a van belonging to one of the top media houses, the moment they spot us, some of the reporters rush towards us, and several photos are snapped. "Don't answer any of their questions," Andre whispers. I lock his arm with mine. I follow Andre's lead closely as we try to avoid the reporters. We are lucky to dodge them and get in church. The ambiance changes instantly we step in, it is silent. A couple of people are crying, some whisper. We head to the front pew. Ryan's family is seated on the right side of the church, we choose the left. Ryan's head turns and his eyes find mine, his expression changes from sadness to anger. His father tries to see what has stolen his son's attention when he sees us. He swivels back to Ryan and says something to him. Ryan turns his focus back to the priest heading the service. I can't help myself, my eyes wander around to distract myself from the funeral. I don't think anyone loves death, it is cold and selfish. My thoughts keep on circling on death, I start to think of my funeral. I must be among the lucky few to experience how our funeral would be, or so I think. I remember hiding far away, seeing masses of people that knew little of me and my brother wailing. My uncle and the woman who had been our nanny- his now-wife- filled with crocodile tears. Speaking of our lives, the lives they tried to take away. With every handful of soil they threw on our graves, It was a slow death for Cara Cooper taking with her the last vestiges of hope and life. That fateful day I cried like a hungry infant. Life, as I knew, had changed. I was alone and my brother looked up to me. I feel Andre softly touch my arm, "Are you okay?" He asks. I sniff and nod. "I think animals are better humans than us." "I lost faith in humanity a long time," Andre responds. "Someone didn't want her to talk to me. I think someone else knows who I am." "Quinn's family perhaps had something to do it. Maybe she had evidence to put them away." "I will find out. I promise." I mutter. Andre withdraws his hand from mine his face is masked with apathy. It is an open casket service and it is coming to an end. I watch as an elderly woman whom I can assume is her mother sob heavily on her husband's shoulder. The entire scene is unsettling, I keep shaking my leg until I can't anymore and my restless legs lead me out. I hate funerals. I find a group of people smoking I wish I was one, at least I would have a cure for my nerves. I walk away from them towards the parking area I spot Quinn's red Lamborghini. I didn't see him or his family. He is the last person I want to see. Andre's car is locked and he has the keys. I decide to just stand there to catch some fresh air. It isn't long before the people start to walk out. My goal today was to speak to Ryan's father, I don't know how possible that is but I have to...My thoughts stray once I see people I haven't seen since I was a toddler. My maternal grandparents, they have aged even my grandmother's a million cosmetic surgery couldn't beat time. Some of my relatives surround them, I can only recognize a few of my cousins, aunts, and uncles. So Ryan's mom didn't lie. She said she was my mother's best friend since childhood before falling apart. Meaning the two families my mom's and hers' had an association. Who would have thought in a million years I would run into my grandparents. My legs start to move towards them, the sight of them is too unimaginable to let it pass. I am sure they can not recognize me, but I do. They are doing nothing in particular, the young ones hold confused stares unaware of what is going on, some share awkward handshakes for seeing each other again, the rest are immersed in conversation I am not interested in. I directly and intentionally walk into my grandmother, I bump into her. "What is wrong with you?" A middle-aged snaps at me. "Sorry," I say. My grandmother lifts her head. "These young people have no respect." She stares into my eyes a minute too long. "Do I know you?" I nod, "Yes." "Cara," Andre calls out my name. "Cara." My grandmother repeats my name, however, I am quick to leave the group. I just hope she figures it out. My mother named me after her. "What do you think you are doing?" Andre snaps at me. "Playing with my grandmother's head." I smile. "She isn't part of the plan." "For what she did to my parents I should have included here," I answer. "Cara." Someone call for me and I turn to find it's my uncle and his family. His wife is clinging to him while he holds their daughter with his other hand. "We meet again." His wife speaks. I nod feigning embarrassment. "Seems so." "My husband cannot stop talking about you, you are quite an impressionable young girl." Her words may sound flattering but her tone is far from that. I move closer to Andre, she notices and relaxes. "Cara," my uncle calls out my name. "Sir," I answer. "See you tomorrow, at work and I am waiting for your decision." "Okay," I say as the couple leave and I sigh in relief. "What was that about?" Andre asks. "Other than my aunt thinking I want to steal her man?" I ask. "No, 'the decisions ' " Andre tries to air "e it. "He wants to transfer me to Europe," I say. "What the fuck!" Andre gasps. Some women walking beside us give us disapproving looks. "Are you going to take it?" Andre asks. "Are you?" Another voice comes behind me. I turn and I find Quinn in a black suit. Whoever said funerals bring people together they were not wrong