Chapter 30

I stare a far the waters are calmly moving like my thoughts. I listen tentatively as Quinn speaks. His tone is admirable, his eyes hold a queer look as if he can see Misha in front of him. I take a piece of meat. The chef has already redone it. It isn t bad, just not my preference. "She was just twenty when she had Theo, she had this cute baby face that would pass her for a sweet sixteen." He smiles. For the past hour, he has endlessly described her with so much adoration. I understand she was his first love, with her he had his many firsts so it is understandable. "Why did she leave?" I finally get to ask the most pressing question. He takes a sip of his beer. I unconsciously find myself sipping my lite beer. When I ordered it Quinn huffed and said I should just take water because they aren t any different. "I wish I knew why. One day she was here the next she wasn t. She left Theo at the hospital when he was just three hours young." He shakes his head with so much pain and regret. "I searched…I did everything I could to find her." He adds absentmindedly. "I waited, hoped, I kept checking the door, the phone, hoping she will come back, I would have accepted even the silliest explanation. She just left us with no goodbye even before she could see our son open his eyes for the first time… she gave up on me, who wouldn t" He opens the mouth and shut it. The words have given up on him too . I too, feel sorry for him. It the first I have seen Quinn this vulnerable, it should repulse me but it draws me closer like a magnet. I don t know If I can bare myself open as he did. I tried and I hated myself after. I shift on my seat uncomfortably. I want to dig deeper but I am confused if it will sound selfish. "Did you look for her?" I decide to ask. "Everywhere." He is brief. "What about her family?" I lean in, my chest unexpectedly collides with the edge of the table, I am starting to feel tipsy. He curses and slaps away a preying mosquito near his ear. He takes a bottle of water and pushes it towards me. "She was an orphan and lived with her grandmother. They bordered my grandparents ranch. The poor soul died last year still hopeful of her return." Quite a sad story. I can only imagine the devastation one feels when a loved disappears with no goodbye or any closure. No idea if they are dead or alive and if alive, what grave atrocity did you commit to watching you suffer as you lose your mind trying to find them. For a second I scan my vicinity. What if she has been watching him? Us? I shake my head to clear the thought. "It is sad," I say for lack of better words. "I promised Theo his mother and I have no clue where to begin." He says. I have no words or comfort to offer. I suck at this. Things I can t offer solutions to leave me fidgeting. I can t tell him everything will be alright because I know I that will be a lie. Misha is still missing. I can t offer a solution because I don t know how to find her. So I sit there like the biggest psychopath that can t show any empathy, I, however, make a promise to coerce Andre into finding her. "Did you love her?" my psychopath self asks. "You don t kid with a person you don t love." "Which world are you living in?" "The morally ideal one." Such a twisted soul! I am tempted to ask about our kind of relationship which the society has openly frowned upon. There is nothing morally ideal in it, at least not according to my childhood bible school teacher. I choose otherwise, I want to savour his moment Quinn is talking about himself, it is gold and only comes once. "If you were to see Misha again, what is the one thing you would say to her?" "I wouldn t buy into the temptation of engaging her no matter the urge to want answers. I would only be glad my son will reunite with his mother." His face is void of any emotions as he speaks. "You still love her, don t you?" "Have you ever been in love?" "No, and I hope it stays that way." "You have never felt even a tinge when we fuck?" What the….! My saliva almost chokes me. "Are you trying to say you are in love with me?" I ask with amazement mixed with a tease. "Do take it too personally." He pushes his chair and stands. "Do you mind a walk on the beach, it is a beautiful night." He requests. "You are in love with me." I taunt him. "Don t let your head get big, one can only fall in love once and I already had my share." "On the contrary, I would be insulted if you were in love with me. I will have to wonder what is wrong with me." I smirk. He flashes his teeth in a mock grin. I must admit, I am loving this side of him. True to Quinn s words, it is a beautiful night complimented by mosquitoes. We walk as I silently listen to him talk about the facts about the lake; its shore length, basin countries, water volume, surface area and how it came to be named by one great explorer. I must say I get turned on by his in-depth knowledge of it. And they say women love money, they should check my soaking wet panties to realize how wrong they are. I am lost in Quinn s intelligent brain until we come across Andre. The lighting from the lighthouse is enough to identify a person and objects. Shit! He is naked and a woman is sucking his…. They both jump at our presence and his cock comes to view, I turn away quickly red-faced, my face buried into my hands. "Let s get out of h-here" I stutter. I start to walk away, I don t wait for Quinn s response, I am beyond embarrassed. He follows me. "That…" I cut him before he speaks. "Don t." I raise my hand. "You haven t even heard what I was about to say." "I am sure I still wouldn t have liked it," I state and then I recall the incident at the car. "Why did you dare Andre to kiss me?" I ask. "It was just a game." He shrugs. "The way you asked it, you were very sure he won t kiss me and I can t forget the disappointment that was on your face when I kissed him instead." His facial expression contorts again, definitely, he is still disappointed. I turn to walk away, I hate it when he never answers my questions. I don t get to take another step before I feel his arms wrap around my waist and sweep me to face him. His face is so close, I can smell the scent of beer in his breath. And then his tongue is on my mouth, uninvited. I cannot let this happen, I should break away from this cycle of lust. His tongue plunges deeper and I yield to it, tomorrow I will find my strength to break free. But tonight I hold on to him like he is the only solid thing in a swaying world. I kiss him back. Warning: The next chapter contains mature content. If uncomfortable you can skip to the next chapter.